Just before I got married, I bought countless home decor magazines. I dreamed day and night about what our first place would be like. I imagined it somewhere between Martha Stewart and Cottage Living… it would be dreamy, filled with unique furnishings that would draw you in and beg you to stay, put your feet up, and have a slice of my just frosted chocolate cake. My house would always smell good and everything would be neat and tidy.
And then, over eleven years ago, we got married and began the journey of creating a home together. I still bought the magazines and I found myself striving for that perfect home… even as we “set up” in over 15 places in the first five years of our marriage. The moving has hardly slowed down since and while I would agree that a home is built on love and love can go with you… no matter where you go… sometimes we just long for a place to call our own.
I was really touched by Abby’s comment on this post, when she said that “being homesick means you love your life.” It just made sense for me… like I have been waiting for someone to explain these crazy feelings I have been carrying around with me lately. I miss my family and I know that will never, ever go away, because they make me feel like me… when I am with them I feel at home. But while we were in the States I felt restless and unfocused. I was haunted daily by the feeling of not belonging… and the realization that America is no longer my home.
As those of you following along with our Tribe know, we are very close to finally being settled again. We will be signing a rental agreement this week on an apartment we have reserved which is in the heart of Copenhagen!
I want to say that I do not care about seeing our things because they are just things and things have very little meaning… but not to me. Countless nights were spent giggling over bedtime stories where we went to “Donut Land” to visit the chocolate milk falls just before tucking the kids into the beds they received from Santa (who happened to arrange for them to be handmade in Morocco.) Then there is my table where I spent so many hours stamping, creating, sharing meals with dear friends, and listening to the kids’ dreams of what they wanted to be when they grew up. I’m excited about my home smelling like fresh baked cookies and seeing our photos hanging proudly on the wall. Some days I start to freak out a little… what if it doesn’t feel like home? Who would have thought this Traveling Mama could be so homesick?
Card details: Created for American Crafts’ Ink Pads Challenge and inspired by multiple visits to IKEA!
Supplies: Stamps by American Crafts, Patterned Paper by American Crafts and GCD Studios, Marker by American Crafts, Cardstock by PTI, Ink by SU!, PTI and SEI
{ 1 trackback }
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
hello dear friend,
your post is so touching and so i send you a lots of positive thoughts…and be sure that everything will become very well…and if you need a friend…i´m here…;)…think to you and your family and be exciting about your new “home”…have a good and sunny time…cheers and hugs…i…
and “home” is where you are understood…;)…all the best…
Hello,
I just stumbled onto your blog (actually I went directly to it when seeing a comment that you wrote on Decor8:)). I just wanted to tell you how incredibly inspired I am of your decision to live your life with purpose, passion, design, intention, and meaning. I don’t know if you read the Orangette blog or not, but her recent post- http://orangette.blogspot.com/2010/07/im-starting-today.html -came to mind as I read yours.
…Even though she misses her old life, she loves the way that her new ‘life’ has (and still is) formed, with her passion still in the very center- just from an entirely different angle- one that she is still trying to accept and understand.
I look forward to reading through your blog (your travels and your tribe) more and hopefully getting to know you a little better along the way:).
Hey – that is me! My wise friend shared those words with me when I was feeling homesick in Paris. In Paris! But I love my life and she helped me to let go of the embarassed feelings of being homesick and embrace who I am.
I also love my things – they don’t have to be expensive or flashy but they have meaning to me. From my hundreds of rolls of ribbon to the framed photographs on the wall to especially my animals. I have spent energy on explaining my things or my feelings to tothers but rather I am choosing to now embrace them as who I am – no explanation. I love my life in London, Ontario Canada. I will visit places (returning to Paris) but home is home.
Another lesson I learned recently on the same idea is that travelling teaches you a lot about yourself. This will allow me to make the necessary adjustments for the next trip so that it feels right for me – how long the trip will be (two weeks was too long for me); my mode of communication (laptop coming with me next time – Hello Facebook!). That said – I look forward to also challenging myself. I don’t want to live with regret that I didn’t try things. So it is a balance and it is only over time and experiences that we find the balance that works for each of us.
Thank you – I enjoyed seeing my name in your blog. Credit must go to my friend Jane – my friend who always puts into beautiful words what I am thinking and feeling when I can’t.
What a sweet post! It is funny because I don’t hold much value in things except my scrapbooks- everything else could go. Not that I don’t love the items in my home, but I guess they are just things to me. I think I get more attached to people. I think I recently told you my husband came home and asked if I wanted to move to Abu Dabi ? Spelling, and when I told some friends they were like oh you should go. You would love it! While I think I might like to visit, I do not think I would love to stay. I like that the lady at the check out counter at Publix knows me or that we can trust our mechanic. I love my sons cardiologist. I guess after moving from place to place for so many years it is nice to feel at home. I didn’t like the way people treated us in Switzerland treated us because we were foreigners; especially Americans. I am grateful for people like you though who have the courage to be so adventurous because I can live the adventure through you.
We have been married 10 years and I really don’t feel like we have gotten to set up house properly…i feel this post!
I hope you’re settled in soon, staying in the heart of Copenhagen, what could be better?!
Super cute card and I hope you are doing well…..
Tina, You will be homesick until your place is settled! Home is where your heart and family are. My youngest, was six weeks old when we left on our first adventure to Indonesia, tht was 1983. He was in six schools the last 5 years of high school! He is in graduate school finishing his doctorate in Biology and he and his wife plan on doing their research abroad! He still loves to travel. I still envy you living in Denmark! Yes, I know it is wrong to envy, but it the fun kind of envy!
Oh I love that…”Being home sick means you love yor life!”
Cute card too!
I am in love with this card! Very gorgeous!! Love to you!