Last night I didn’t sleep well, if I even slept at all. I had a lot on my mind and sleep eluded me. So, this morning for my tutor session with Kautar we grabbed our coats and the camera and went for a walk. I needed to talk about something light hearted and clear my mind and a long walk was just the thing.Â
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We talked about everything from how neighborhoods are divided to which ones are “good” and which ones are “bad.”
We talked about how people in America rarely use payphones anymore. I couldn’t remember ever seeing a teleboutique, or pay phone store, in America. I lamented the fact that those of us who hate cell phones have been reduced to searching for a pay phone and only occassionally finding a long forgotten one by some gas station.
Life went on around us- kids went to school, shop owners opened for business… There seemed to be a general settling in of people in their day.
 
As we continued to walk I felt my spirits lifting and slowly began to accept that today was a new day and yesterday needed to be left behind. I wish I could say that all is forgotten, but my heart is still heavy and that big lump in my chest has yet to go away.Â
It’s not the first time my heart has been nearly broken by someone who’s words cut deeply and it won’t be the last. I suppose in the scheme of things there are many other life shattering events that could have happened, but it hurt and it still does. But the walk was wonderful and my sweet friend, Kautar, is a gem. And so life continues and we just take in all one step at a time.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
oh friend, i will be praying for you, that Father would heal your heart. What a wonderful gift He gave you today as you had the chance to be outside and walk around with a gem like Kautar!
By the way, something to make you smile, my husband, Clark and I watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding over the weekend and I thought of you
I love your photos, especially the one of the brown gate. I had to laugh about your comment on the payphones. I reluctantly got a cell phone last fall, and before that it seemed that every time I had to use a pay phone the hand set was covered in either mustard or ketchup! That is the main reason I got a cell, I can’t stand the sight or smell of dried ketchup let alone actually use a phone covered in it!
Tina, I’m so sorry for your heavy heart. It’s amazing how words can affect us, isn’t it? I found myself in a similar situation recently where words that were said really hurt me. They dominated my thoughts, robbed me of sleep, and I found myself repeatedly being reduced to tears (Which I HATE!) over the situation. Then I realized that it is up to me to determine my happiness and I was in control of me. I was giving the person who had hurt me too much power by letting it get to me so much. It sure is hard getting to the place where you can let it go and move on though. Hang in there my friend, you’re in my thoughts.
I don’t know what happened to make you sad, but I know that walking helps me, too.